i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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