I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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