I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
