My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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