this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone came in the potted fern
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
