I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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