She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
