He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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