So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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