dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize