Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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