did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
