Sponge bath it is.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
