im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize