she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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