it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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