...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
