I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
