I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
