..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
