I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
