a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
BRING THE BAGELS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
