How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
