I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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