dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
