he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize