Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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