Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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