the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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