Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
