now i know why i became what i already was.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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