i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
