I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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