quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
