Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
