All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
