Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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