I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
