So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
