Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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