Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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