my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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