I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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