I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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