So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
