My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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