Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
