I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
