Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
