its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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