Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
