You just made me feel so damn special
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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