I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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