I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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