I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
