He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
