White coat. Heels.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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