Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
